But I’m A Whole Foods Mommy!


Turns out that I’m more smug than a Prius driver.

I assumed that my pantry wouldn’t be filled with too much crap because, hey, I shop at Whole Foods! I’m a kombucha drinker! I meditate!

You know exactly where this is going. The bigger they are, the harder they fall and I’m bleeding from the ears on impact. Perhaps a previous head injury explains why I purchased so many processed, sugar-filled items shown in the “pantry cleanout” photo below. A couple items were no surprise. The Honey Nut Cheerios in the upper right? What can I say— the flesh is weak. And anybody smarter than a chicken knows that condiments like ketchup are cloyingly sweet for a reason. But the soups? And et tu, panko?

And then there’s the Whole Paws (Whole Foods brand) dog treats shown on the lower left.


Sucker! My pantry cleanout included sugar-laden stuff like bread crumbs, soups and … dog treats.

What. The. Hell.

Yeah, I’m the idiot who bought them for my dog’s Christmas stocking. Yeah, the box says “glucosamine creme treats/peanut butter and molasses flavor.” But the third ingredient is cane sugar and the fourth is cane molasses. They’re canine sugar bombs.

It’s one thing for the sugar industry to shove sugar into every processed food imaginable by using idiotic synonyms for sugar (dehydrated cane juice, cane crystals), but to load dog treats with sugar …

That is just despicable.

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